That Familiar Feeling

Ok. There’s that old familiar feeling.  The…taking on too much and trying to manage all the layers I’ve smothered myself in while traveling my path to publication.

Layers of Paper

It’s taking more attention and energy than I would have liked, to reconfigure my new schedule.  But, at the same time, the heavy load is not that shocking.  I’ve been here before, many times.  In my dance/sports/tv/stage/film life.  In my present writing commitments.  Also in college. Remember research? How many hours did YOU log at the library exploring, penning and typing all those assignments? Don’t want to go there? Oh, I get it.  Yet…here I am…again. On purpose! [insert laugh out loud]

Working two or three jobs while forging a creative life has also always been part of my norm. Slugging through endless client/business obligations, tasks and deadlines. Additionally, enduring countless hours in auditions, in performances, in travel, at meets, during off-hours, just to perhaps find a crack in the wall of success.  All the while trying to live/look/feel/eat well doing it.  The word “grueling” comes to mind.

This time, though, my artistic project is not “on the side.”  The novel is the main course.  So, I’m approaching the goal much differently than in the past.  I’d say much better.  Maturity, I guess.

It’s October, and I’m feeling the crunch.  Now that I have my first round of manuscript notes, I’m completely excited to have discovered I wrote so much that was right.  And also, wondering how I’m going to finagle my time and mental state to better actualize what was, meh.

It was recently suggested that I would just have to give up something if I wanted to get it done. Yoga was mentioned, as was exercise and a social life. And while, true, I might have to shorten some of my non-writing intervals. Nah!  I won’t be doing any of that.

The expression alone…”give up”, just isn’t me.  I didn’t get here by doing that.  I got here, because I’ve been committed to what makes brings me daily joy and what feeds my passions or allows me to relax enough so that my imagination can run free. Whether it is composing my best essay ever or simply taking an evening walk.  I won’t be giving up a thing unless it really doesn’t need to be here.  That includes watering my plants. (They make me really happy!).

Instead, I think I’ll add.  Put in more time to improve my pages.  Slow down so I can see the hurdles.  Sleep, yes definitely that.  And really focus on what my heart is telling me:  I’m on the right road.